A new chapter
It has been a special week, and one I know will stay with me in my heart forever. It’s the week I finished working in my HR career. I’ve adored supporting people progress in their careers and creating company cultures, but for now, I’m going to shape something different in my life, a business of my own shaped by my passions and what I most enjoy.
On Wednesday I drove to the office for the last time. The journey into work began a day of wrapping up a chapter of my life. As with most of the day, I chose to pause and savour the moment. The drive in reminded me of how much I have loved this time of the day; the sounds of Zoe Ball on Radio 2, the rare moments of personal headspace and time to think, and watching the world waking up as I journey through the city.
Watching the changing seasons has been part of my journey, driving through the city and then heading out onto country lanes has enabled me to really connect with the seasonal shifts. The morning mists, the light cascading through the clouds, the sun rising on frosty mornings, the icicles in the hedgerows, the landscape shrouded in rain... On the final few journeys into work white blossom filled the hedgerows, bright green started to fill the landscape with leaves at various stages of unfurling, and fields of yellow oilseed rape wafted as cars drove past.
The final few weeks at work have been focused on catching up with people, saying goodbye and thank you, wrapping up a coaching journey with a colleague, finishing off a few final bits of work, and holding onto those rare final moments of working in an office. I couldn’t have asked for a more wonderful send off; beautiful messages, cards, gifts, leaving drinks and a meal as a team. I sent a leaving email to say thank you to the amazing people I’ve worked with, sharing my gratitude for the highlights over the years, and sending them love as the company we’ve been part of integrates into our parent company and things monumentally change. It was the exit after a long notice period I had hoped for and I will hold dear to my heart.
For those of you who know me, you’ve likely been witness to my tears which can pour from me when I’m happy and sad. Remarkably the tears stayed inside me until I got to the lift leaving the office for the last time. The goodbye wishes and hugs from a team who rushed out of a meeting room to say their goodbyes felt like an expression of big love, their tears and hugs set me, and my manager off, and then the tears flowed. A release I needed. Saying goodbye to my work family was very hard and they will be one of the things I will miss the most. I know, and hope, our paths will cross again and I’m sure I will be following their next chapters as everyone shifts into a new phase of their career.
It’s understandably been a week where I’ve felt all of the emotions. A flickering of sadness felt in unexpected moments, the pang of grief as change engulfs the people and company I love, the sinking feeling of the ‘this is the last time I will…’ felt so numerous. Those moments were contrasted with the gratitude, deep love, giddy and nervous excitement of a new career I’m about to create, the moments of calm contemplation, the pride and appreciation for the moments we have shared as a team, and reminders to myself to be kind and compassionate to myself and others.
Thursday felt surreal. The signs of finishing work were all around me: the gift bag, a beautiful book and the David Austin Rose vouchers, a beautiful new folder, the card from work, and the good luck cards from dear friends which had arrived, and paperwork from Companies House. After dropping off Little C to pre-school I came home, made a cuppa and set about finishing off what I wanted to do, an Instagram post and LinkedIn update. I needed to sort them, a final closure of my chapter. After I pressed post I stopped, my brain and body ached and felt heavy, my head cloudy and I felt wiped out and numb, and took a deep breath.
When I’ve finished previous jobs I’ve tended to head straight into a new job the following week without a break. This time it is very different and I’ve decided to take a break for a while. Apart from a bit of writing and the odd Instagram post if inspiration strikes, I plan to stop, rest, restore and look after myself. I’m going to work on some sewing projects, read books and magazines, and get out and tend our garden, go for walks and establish a refreshed routine and weekly rhythm, they’re all the things I know will help as I shift into a new chapter of my career and life changes.
I’m looking forward to slowing down and stopping after a full and fast-paced career and seeing what happens. I’m going to share here what it feels like to change career in my 40s and more about the life I’m now creating.